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Past
Incidents....
Usarawana gets married!!!
Usarawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Usarawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Usarawana buys a new phone
Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message everyone from his Phone Book & said
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
Bulls & Sex
USArawana
had to go and spend few weeks at his so-called Bungalow in Yala to
bread dogs. On his stay he noticed a group of “ bulls”.
What are those for? He asked “ KALUrawana.
“I use them when I use to have sex”.
“ You dirty fool, don’t say another word, Kaputa. That is
the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. But I am not surprised,
yes of course, I know who you are. Anyway get rid of those bulls
immediately”. KALUrawana agreed.
A few weeks went by and USArawana began to get rather horny. ( Weli Weli inna Amarui wage danuna).
He called KALUrawana and asked to bring those bulls back immediately. And KALUrawana brought them back.
USArawana told KALUrawana to leave him alone and not to allow anybody
to come. And USARawana picked the most attractive one and proceeded to
have sex with the BULL. It was so disgusting, but USArawana wanted and
did it.
( “Kanna Ona Unama, Kabaragoyath, Thalagoya wage Penawalu Ne”).
But it was a horrible experience and he asked KALUrawana “ Do you
actually enjoy sex with the bulls, and isn’t’ it painful
and disgusting? How do you enjoy?
KALUrawana looked at USArawana in astonishment and exclaimed, I
DON’T HAVE SEX WITH BULLS. BUT I USE THEM TO RIDE IN TO TOWN
WHERE THE WOMEN ARE”.( KALUrawana Harak Karaththe Bendala,
Karaththen yanawalu Kello Ballanna)
Usarawana calls customer support.....
Usa Rawana's call to Netscape Technical Support Folly
Tech:
Internet Technical Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I
have your username please?
Usa Rawana:
Yes I want to speak to the person in charge immediately!
Tech:
Speaking. What can I do for you?
Usa Rawana:
I want to complain about the pornographic bookmarks your company
put in my web browser!
Tech:
We didn't put any pornographic bookmarks in your web browser.
Usa Rawana:
Oh yes you did! I'm looking at them right now!
(Tech
remembers the Netscape history list and grins to himself)
Tech:
Where exactly are these "bookmarks" located?
Usa Rwana: In
Netscape!
Tech:
And where exactly in Netscape would that be?
Usa Rawana:
In that little list that comes down when you click the little
down arrow!
Tech:
The one right above the Net Search button?
Usa Rawana:
Yes that one!
Tech:
Sir, that's the Netscape history list. Netscape keeps the past
ten links you typed in that box. The only way to put an address
in that box is for someone to physically sit at your computer
and type in a web address.
Usa Rawana:
Well I certainly didn't type in those X rated web addresses!
Tech:
Well somebody did. Who else has access to your computer, and
uses the Internet?
Usa Rawana:
Just me and Kalu Rawana!
(Several
seconds of silence pass ... Hey! I wasn't going to say it!)
Usa Rwana:
........ oh ............. OOOH! ... Thank you.
(He quickly hangs
up)
<This article
was sent by Navin Samarakoon who is away in UK. Thanks Navin>
Three buckets of water..........
One day KALUrawana called USArawana and said “
Machan can you give a donation for the new swimming pool?.
Yes of course, I will give them four…, no, three
buckets of water”
Usa Rawana buys a
TV........
USArawana went to Abans to buy a TV
USArawana – “Do you have colour TVs?”
Salesman
– “Yes”
Usarawana – “Good, then give me a green one”
How to live
longer........
A teenager was
sitting on a bench (at Vihara Mahadevi Park) eating chocolate bars.
USArawana was sitting opposite watched him finish 07 of them off.
USArawana – “ Eating
that many chocolate bars is bad for you”
Teenager - “ But my
grand father lived 104 years”.
USArawana – “ Did he
eat lots of chocolate bars at once like you?
Teenager – “ No
puppy man, but he minded his own bloody business.
An encounter
with a prostitute.......
One morning Usa Rawana went for a walk.
Suddenly he saw a prostitute was waiting in front of Castle
Hospital. So he approached her and said if you come with me, I will
give you Rs. 20/=. She got mad about the offer and said “ no way
puppy, its nothing less than Rs. 300/= per hour, don’t try to insult
me”.
The next day his notorious Bro – in – low “Kalu
Rawana" joined him for the morning walk. (KALUrawana has a habit
of imitating what USArawana does). USArawana saw the prostitute
again, but he ignored her because of his notorious bro- in law.
Unfortunately she saw USArawana is having a walk
with a guy.
She straight a way came to USArawana and said
“hey puppy, (by showing KALUrawana to him) these are the kinds of
P…… guys you can get for 20 bucks”
Road Signs as
understood by Usa Rawana.......
"Usa Rawana" had
to go to the airport, to pick a panel of International Judges for the
annual DOG SHOW.
While he was
driving he saw a sign board that said, “AIRPORT LEFT”, so he
turned around and went home.
Winning
day................
It was such a hot
day and Usa Rawana decided he would buy a “ Coke”. He went to
the vending machine (that was his first time) and read the
instructions, put his money in, a can of “Coke” came in. He was
surprised and put another coin, got another can and he kept putting
money in and getting coke cans.
It was such a hot
day a line beginning forming behind him. Finally one guy on line got
angry and said “ will you hurry up, puppy boy? We are all hot and
thirsty”
Usa Rawana
said “No way, I am still winning! I bought so many lotteries never
worked, but today is my day, every time I put a coin I win a Coke”
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